Friday, October 14, 2011

NFL Picks Week Six: So I Took A Little Time Off Because I'm Famous

Six or so of you out there actually read this junk, and as a result, you might have noticed that I didn't write at all this week, something I'll attribute to the increasingly hectic schedule I live in because of the fame I've gotten as a result of my recent TV interview. This fame is, of course, a total nonsensical figment of my imagination. I am, in fact, not famous at all. Even though I was on TV. If you're looking for an actual cause of the fact that I did not write all week, it probably has far more to do with the fact that I crawled into a hole for a little while after the Giants' irritatingly frustrating loss to the Seattle Seahawks this past Sunday.

Perhaps you didn't see it, but let's look at a few statistics here. For one, the Seahawks have the notable disadvantage of being a West Coast team that endures exhaustion, travel, and the treachery of time zones whenever it comes East. This disadvantage seems particularly pronounced for the Seahawks, so much so that they hadn't won a game in the Eastern time zone in some four years or so before this past Sunday. To boot, the Giants have sort of owned Seattle in the past few years, and by owned I mean, beat the utter crap out of them last year in Seattle even though the 10-6 Giants spent the playoffs at home while the 7-9 Seahawks got to the second round, which, you know, makes a lot of sense.

Add into that that the Giants played pretty poorly through most of the game and caught a few bad breaks, most notably on the fluky interception that sealed victory for Seattle, and it was a bit frustrating. That frustration is only partially salved by the fact that Philadelphia lost again, which is complicating for me because a) it was a golden opportunity for Big Blue to take a three-game edge in the standings and b) if the Bills are actually good, it makes me antsy that the Giants have to play them this week. Those are words I never thought I'd ever say.

But hey, it's cool. Because even though the Giants wasted a totally awesome catch by Victor Cruz and any number of other myriad botched opportunities, sometimes you just don't win. Because come on, the Seahawks are good. After all, they got to play half the game with this guy at quarterback. Just look at that mustache. It's almost as bitchin' as the fact that he only has three career interceptions. IN HIS ENTIRE CAREER. That's almost as small a total as his career touchdown passes. Because, you know, Charlie Whitehurst has three touchdown passes. In his entire career.Three. In nine games. In six seasons. He's played in nine games in six years. And he beat the Giants.

I mean, I don't want to give the impression that I'm bitter. Good for him. But this is a team the Giants should have beaten. Add this in with the fact that Saturday night Northwestern blew a 10-point second half lead at home to Michigan for its third frustrating loss in a row and you get the idea that maybe I didn't really want to think about football this week, which is hard to do since I always think about football.

Dems da breaks.

On the plus side, I did go to my first Devils game of the year, a highly entertaining 2-1 shootout win over the L.A. Kings last night, so there was the bright spot of the week as far as sports go. Also, it was just kind of fun to get back to a hockey game after a layoff of several months, and seeing my Devils look competitive after what was an utterly bizarre Jekyll and Hyde season last year was another positive.

Of course in hockey, it's an awfully long season. In football it isn't quite so lengthy, which is why every loss can be just so antagonizing. But who will lose, you say?

Well, let me tell you. Maybe.

Last week: 7-5-1
Seasons: 36-38-3

NY GIANTS (-3) over Buffalo
ATLANTA (-4) over Carolina
Indianapolis (+7) over CINCINNATI
DETROIT (-5) over San Francisco
GREEN BAY (-15) over St. Louis
Jacksonville (+13) over PITTSBURGH
Philadelphia (-2) over WASHINGTON
OAKLAND (-7) over Cleveland
BALTIMORE (-8) over Houston
NEW ENGLAND (-7) over Dallas
TAMPA BAY (+5) over New Orleans
Minnesota (+3) over CHICAGO
NY JETS (-7) over Miami

And there you go. Happy football, everyone.

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