Friday, January 30, 2015

Hey, who wants to check out a museum or something Sunday night?

I feel distinctly out of the loop lately. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it's because I'm planning my impending trip to London or maybe it's because I'm just too damn confused from trying to figure out upgrading my iPhone, but there's apparently a professional football game on Sunday night and it kind of snuck up on me.

I love the Super Bowl. Since the age of eight, making a huge deal out of the NFL's annual championship showcase has more or less been my annual raison d'etre. This coming Sunday is basically a national holiday for me and I pretty much count down the minutes until I can watch football, stuff myself with wings and try to explain to people (again) that punting on fourth down is almost always a stupid strategy.

This year, however, Super Bowl XLIX just isn't doing it for me. It's not because I'm angry with out of touch athletes who won't do the media's bidding (Ed: He's actually a nice guy), disillusioned with a League that is rampant with violent criminals (Ed: It actually isn't), concerned about the NFL's lukewarm response to a very real head trauma epidemic (Ed: But it's getting better!) nor is it because the media is hyping up one of the lamest scandals I've ever heard of (Ed: The Pats may not be wrong). I'm mostly just not all that hyped up for this reason:

A matchup between the Seattle Seahawks and New England Patriots is super boring.

Seriously. These are two teams with zero collective history, come from cities that have no cultural rivalry and are almost as geographically far apart as two Super Bowl participants can be, and I have no strong feelings about either team one way or the other. Yes, I realize I live in New York so I'm supposed to hate any team from Boston, but let's be honest. I root for the New York Giants, New Jersey Devils and New York Mets, all of whom have major geographic rivals that play in Philadelphia, rather than Boston. In fact, the only times the Giants have played the Patriots with anything significant on the line that might foment a genuine rivalry, the Giants have won each time.

No, that wasn't just excuse for me to mention Super Bowl XLII and Super Bowl XLVI, but it doesn't hurt.



As for Seattle, this is a team that's kind of fun to watch, particularly considering the most improbable of improbable comebacks in the NFC Championship Game two weeks ago, but by and large they've been a non-entity in my football-watching existence. The Seahawks were terrible for most of my childhood, and even when they were good, they found ways to louse it up. Even though the current Seahawks are a dominant machine, not to mention the defending champions, I still find their newfound success to be somewhere between adorable and not really real.

So what am I to do? I mean, obviously I'll be watching, and once kickoff happens I'm sure I'll be rapt at attention like I always am, but for the time being, I've been too uninspired or busy with other things to develop an opinion.

That doesn't, of course, mean I won't have an opinion when it's all over, and maybe I'll develop one in the next two days anyway. Maybe I'll be convinced New England is a bunch of cheaters which deserves its comeuppance or maybe I'll decide watching Tom Brady and Darth Vader win a fourth Super Bowl will be the appropriate capstone to 15 years of watching true greatness we may never see again.

Or maybe I'll think the Seahawks' color scheme is just super cool and I'll root for them for purely that reason. I really don't know.

All I know is I'll be watching. And if NBC feels like running a bunch of clips of the last time they broadcast a Super Bowl with the Patriots or the last time the Patriots played a Super Bowl in Glendale, Arizona, well, that's totally cool. Really. Go for it. It'll probably be the most exciting part of the night for me.

Seattle 27, New England 23.

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